This Is Why (Kari Scrapbooks)

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Written by Liv Esteban

Monday, 18 May 2009 19:00

Kind of a daunting question to ask myself: why do I scrapbook? Truth be told, my first reaction is to say "I dunno - because I want to!" I guess part of me feels like there should be some deep-seated reason that compels me and stirs the scrapbooking fire within. Looking back at the role scrapbooking has played in my life, I am not surprised to find that the answer to that question has changed several times over the years.

I'll start with my high school and college years (mostly because I have a terrible memory and don't remember lots of details before about my junior or senior year. Ha!). What a carefree time of life! I was so lucky to have remarkable friends that I loved and had a great time with. We went on road trips and group dates and dances and parties. We watched each other fall in love, get married, and move onto the next phases of our lives. I have so many funny (and embarrassing) photos of those never-to-be-relived years that I cherish! I spent hours putting those photos into albums--yes, the kind where you peel back the plastic, put your photo on the "sticky" page, and place the plastic back over (shudder)--and adding little captions to the photos with cardstock and markers, the photos cut out with patterned scissors, of course. I laugh when I look back at those albums because they are a mess, but they are filled with fabulous memories, quotes, and images of a time of remarkable growth in my life.

I got married in 1997 and we started our family in 1999. Those first few years were exciting as we metamorphosed from newlyweds to parents. Oh, the number of photos (actual prints) that I have of my first daughter! During this same time my husband graduated from BYU and we moved across the country for him to attend Optometry School. Miles away from our families, we found great comfort in the closeness of friends--the kind that become like family to you. It was during this time that I became a Stampin' Up! demonstrator. I quickly found a love for papercrafting, especially card-making. It was also at this time that Stampin' Up! was making strides in the scrapbooking industry, and we were encouraged as demonstrators to incorporate scrapbooking into our workshops. I enjoyed it, but didn't love it the way I felt I should. It seemed like all of the "good moms" were scrapbookers, which made me feel like I wasn't doing something right in my job as a mom. I had an outstanding friend in Memphis who was an amazing scrapper: she had her pages in magazines and had been published in books. I could see and feel the passion she had for it. She would spend hours on the hand-cut lettering on her pages. She took photos of my daughter and me and created beautiful pages with them to contribute to a magazine. I remember feeling so lame that my friend was making scrapbook pages of my life, and my daughter's life, rather than me. I had other friends who were also great at keeping up with their scrapbooks and I found myself envious of their abilities and talents. Still, at the time I found that I scrapbooked more because I felt I was supposed to scrapbook (because of my obligation to Stampin' Up! and because I was trying to be the "good mom") as opposed to scrapping because I wanted to.

More life changes came. We ended up in Arizona after finishing grad school. Once again, we found ourselves living away from family yet blessed with great friends. We moved when I was 28 weeks pregnant with my third daughter, and the first few years in the desert were kind of a blur (remember what I said about my memory?). We were living in a new city and state, and there I was, juggling three kids (one of whom was a very fussy baby), adjusting to the new job of my husband, and making friends all over again. Add to all of that building our first "real" house, and you'd have an idea of what I mean when I say it was a bit overwhelming. I watched as my girls flipped through their scrapbooks (all 3-5 pages in them), over and over, talking about the photos and asking about the people in them... I felt so guilty that I hadn't done a better job at creating pages for them to look at because I saw the extreme joy on their faces when they opened those books.

And yet I still couldn't find that passion for scrapbooking that I felt I should have. My kids were little and got into everything, so it was difficult for me to scrapbook. I felt so far behind and didn't know where to start.

When I was pregnant with my fourth baby in 2007, I bought a copy of Photoshop Elements 5 when Costco had a coupon for $30 off. I had heard it was great for photo-editing and, knowing how many photos I had collected over the years, I thought this was one small step in getting me more organized and ready to start scrapbooking those photos. I was spending a bit more time online trying to keep in touch with family and friends. I'd always enjoyed working on a computer but especially loved when I learned ways to do things more quickly and efficiently. Then came the world of blogging. I started keeping a written record of our lives and included a lot of photos along the way; it was the perfect way to keep our family and friends in touch with what we were doing. In the midst of all of this, I started seeing digital scrapbook pages on other people's blogs. Interesting!

My dear friend (and Spraguemate) Tori and I started talking digital. I discovered Quick Pages and started to feel like I could scrapbook... and like it! I found this digital thing was right up my alley--it was clean, organized, easy to change things around and create perfect pages, and techy (I've discovered I'm a little of a tech geek at heart). I could easily share my pages on my blog and print them out just as quickly! My girls could not have been more thrilled! What used to be 5 pages became 15 pages to delight in!

I stumbled onto Jessica Sprague's name and site during a random blog hop one day. It was just after her very first Up & Running class had started so I would have to wait a few months to really start learning. It was well worth the wait! After so many years of feeling like I should scrapbook, I had finally found myself in a place where I actually wanted to scrapbook! I felt empowered: I was learning so much, trying new things, and putting myself out there. I became part of a wonderful community! These were all things that had been somewhat abandoned as I became a mother and turned my focus to my children so many years before. Now I found that I could still keep my focus on my children and family but with the added benefit of giving back to myself! I had finally found the place where I felt the fire that I had craved for in all the past years. My guilt started to melt away as I finished more pages. Even though I know I have more years than I could ever dream to catch up on, I am on my way... and I love it!

So why do I scrapbook?

In the end, I come back to my original answer: "because I want to." For the first time, after so many years, I am now driven to scrapbook with the ardent desire that I've longed to feel for more years than I can count (although my husband would probably argue I scrapbook to justify the need for a new iMac and EHD)!

I scrapbook because I've decided that my life is too important to forget! I have a fabulous life, a wonderful family, and endless amazing experiences to record.

I want my family and friends to know what great times we had. Years from now I want those I love to look back at their albums and photo books and laugh and cry and share our stories with others. I want to continue to learn new things and give back to myself, my family, my friends, and the online community.

And it gives me great joy knowing that I can do all that... because I want to.

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Comments (16) add comment

Stacey Siegal: ...

Wow, thanks for sharing Kari! You are an amazing gal and I love the history behind your reasons to scrap!

May 19, 2009

michelle seizys: ...

very well written and said, Kari, my sweet friend! thanks for sharing your story with us!!!

May 19, 2009

Debi Putnam: ...

Amazing! Very well spoken! Love your reason. It ranks right up there with your other famous quote ... "I deserve it."

I should have sent mine to Liv first because after Janie, Laurie and You, mine will be a big let-down. I've just never been good with words.

Anyway, thanks so much for sharing GF. I enjoyed reading it.

May 19, 2009

Meg Stocks: ... http://digimegsworld.blogspot.com/

Kari - how awesome! I related to so much of your story - thank you for sharing!!

May 19, 2009

Sarah (champsarahjoy): ...

Thanks so much for sharing, Kari. I identify with the feeling of "I have to" scrapbook. Digital has been a way of freeing me from that as well. I can do it so much more neatly and with less mess than before....and it can be shared instantly! I am so glad that you scrapbook....because you want to!
Thanks again for sharing your story.

May 19, 2009

Laurie Pecotte: ...

I am so glad that you found the passion. Otherwise, how else would I have met you? Mwah! Love you! Great job!

May 19, 2009

Janie Holmes-Davis: ...

Great story, Kari. I can really relate to the ebb-and-flow rhythm of your interest in and passion for scrapbooking. Even now, as much as I love it, I still find myself experiencing times when I just can't seem to find the mojo. My perfectionist angst seems to take on a life of its own to where I am in a state of paralysis. Your article made me stop and think about the greater purpose behind our creating: to capture our story but also LIVE our lives to the fullest! Thanks for sharing your story.

May 20, 2009

Liv: ... http://livestories.wordpress.com

Kari, you ROCK! (Can I tell everyone how you wrote this in the wee hours of the morning in less than an hour? smilies/wink.gif

) Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for "wanting to"... because, as Laurie has said, it's what led us to our blessed friendship with you, you wonder(ful) woman, you! (((hugs)))

May 20, 2009

latz: ... http://latzeng.wordpress.com/

Thank you for sharing your story and how important it is to ourselves not just our families! Big hugs gf!

May 20, 2009

Kendra: ...

Awesome job, Kari! Thank you for sharing with us. I love learning these details about my Spraground friends.

May 20, 2009

Julie Long: ...

Kari--wow, what an amazing story you told...not worrying to admit that your scrappin' love has ebbed and flowed with your life...thanks! I too, have many years of blank albums after I started scrappin' in 2002...but the moments we do record are there to share forever!

May 20, 2009

Kattrina Holt: ...

Oh Kari,
Very well said! Good thing I am part of your family and get to witness hands on your unbelievable talent!!!! To tell you the truth after looking at all you do, I feel like I am failing as a mother.....but you inspire me to do better! Keep up the great life, and great work!

May 20, 2009

Kelleigh Ratzlaff: ... http://ratzlafffamily.blogspot.com/

Love this Kari!! Thanks so much for sharing from your heart!!

May 20, 2009

Jana Holden: ...

Loved reading your story Kari! Isn't it a great feeling to scrap because you want to? The world of digi has certainly given a lot of us that joy! Of course I love all your hybrid projects too! I like to look at those for inspiration too! I can't believe you wrote all that in an hour! Wowza! Thanks for sharing with us GF! Great job!

May 20, 2009

Tori Johnson: ...