Kind of a daunting question to ask myself: why do I scrapbook? Truth be told, my first reaction is to say "I dunno - because I want to!" I guess part of me feels like there should be some deep-seated reason that compels me and stirs the scrapbooking fire within. Looking back at the role scrapbooking has played in my life, I am not surprised to find that the answer to that question has changed several times over the years.

I'll start with my high school and college years (mostly because I have a terrible memory and don't remember lots of details before about my junior or senior year. Ha!). What a carefree time of life! I was so lucky to have remarkable friends that I loved and had a great time with. We went on road trips and group dates and dances and parties. We watched each other fall in love, get married, and move onto the next phases of our lives. I have so many funny (and embarrassing) photos of those never-to-be-relived years that I cherish! I spent hours putting those photos into albums--yes, the kind where you peel back the plastic, put your photo on the "sticky" page, and place the plastic back over (shudder)--and adding little captions to the photos with cardstock and markers, the photos cut out with patterned scissors, of course. I laugh when I look back at those albums because they are a mess, but they are filled with fabulous memories, quotes, and images of a time of remarkable growth in my life.

I got married in 1997 and we started our family in 1999. Those first few years were exciting as we metamorphosed from newlyweds to parents. Oh, the number of photos (actual prints) that I have of my first daughter! During this same time my husband graduated from BYU and we moved across the country for him to attend Optometry School. Miles away from our families, we found great comfort in the closeness of friends--the kind that become like family to you. It was during this time that I became a Stampin' Up! demonstrator. I quickly found a love for papercrafting, especially card-making. It was also at this time that Stampin' Up! was making strides in the scrapbooking industry, and we were encouraged as demonstrators to incorporate scrapbooking into our workshops. I enjoyed it, but didn't love it the way I felt I should. It seemed like all of the "good moms" were scrapbookers, which made me feel like I wasn't doing something right in my job as a mom. I had an outstanding friend in Memphis who was an amazing scrapper: she had her pages in magazines and had been published in books. I could see and feel the passion she had for it. She would spend hours on the hand-cut lettering on her pages. She took photos of my daughter and me and created beautiful pages with them to contribute to a magazine. I remember feeling so lame that my friend was making scrapbook pages of my life, and my daughter's life, rather than me. I had other friends who were also great at keeping up with their scrapbooks and I found myself envious of their abilities and talents. Still, at the time I found that I scrapbooked more because I felt I was supposed to scrapbook (because of my obligation to Stampin' Up! and because I was trying to be the "good mom") as opposed to scrapping because I wanted to.

More life changes came. We ended up in Arizona after finishing grad school. Once again, we found ourselves living away from family yet blessed with great friends. We moved when I was 28 weeks pregnant with my third daughter, and the first few years in the desert were kind of a blur (remember what I said about my memory?). We were living in a new city and state, and there I was, juggling three kids (one of whom was a very fussy baby), adjusting to the new job of my husband, and making friends all over again.  Add to all of that building our first "real" house, and you'd have an idea of what I mean when I say it was a bit overwhelming.  I watched as my girls flipped through their scrapbooks (all 3-5 pages in them), over and over, talking about the photos and asking about the people in them... I felt so guilty that I hadn't done a better job at creating pages for them to look at because I saw the extreme joy on their faces when they opened those books.

And yet I still couldn't find that passion for scrapbooking that I felt I should have. My kids were little and got into everything, so it was difficult for me to scrapbook. I felt so far behind and didn't know where to start.

When I was pregnant with my fourth baby in 2007, I bought a copy of Photoshop Elements 5 when Costco had a coupon for $30 off.  I had heard it was great for photo-editing and, knowing how many photos I had collected over the years, I thought this was one small step in getting me more organized and ready to start scrapbooking those photos. I was spending a bit more time online trying to keep in touch with family and friends. I'd always enjoyed working on a computer but especially loved when I learned ways to do things more quickly and efficiently. Then came the world of blogging. I started keeping a written record of our lives and included a lot of photos along the way; it was the perfect way to keep our family and friends in touch with what we were doing. In the midst of all of this, I started seeing digital scrapbook pages on other people's blogs. Interesting!

My dear friend (and Spraguemate) Tori and I started talking digital. I discovered Quick Pages and started to feel like I could scrapbook... and like it! I found this digital thing was right up my alley--it was clean, organized, easy to change things around and create perfect pages, and techy (I've discovered I'm a little of a tech geek at heart). I could easily share my pages on my blog and print them out just as quickly! My girls could not have been more thrilled! What used to be 5 pages became 15 pages to delight in!

I stumbled onto Jessica Sprague's name and site during a random blog hop one day. It was just after her very first Up & Running class had started so I would have to wait a few months to really start learning. It was well worth the wait! After so many years of feeling like I should scrapbook, I had finally found myself in a place where I actually wanted to scrapbook! I felt empowered: I was learning so much, trying new things, and putting myself out there. I became part of a wonderful community! These were all things that had been somewhat abandoned as I became a mother and turned my focus to my children so many years before. Now I found that I could still keep my focus on my children and family but with the added benefit of giving back to myself! I had finally found the place where I felt the fire that I had craved for in all the past years. My guilt started to melt away as I finished more pages. Even though I know I have more years than I could ever dream to catch up on, I am on my way... and I love it!

So why do I scrapbook?

In the end, I come back to my original answer: "because I want to." For the first time, after so many years, I am now driven to scrapbook with the ardent desire that I've longed to feel for more years than I can count (although my husband would probably argue I scrapbook to justify the need for a new iMac and EHD)!

I scrapbook because I've decided that my life is too important to forget!  I have a fabulous life, a wonderful family, and endless amazing experiences to record.

I want my family and friends to know what great times we had. Years from now I want those I love to look back at their albums and photo books and laugh and cry and share our stories with others. I want to continue to learn new things and give back to myself, my family, my friends, and the online community.

And it gives me great joy knowing that I can do all that... because I want to.